“The things you say about others also says a lot about you” – Mark Amend
Last Saturday, my girlies and I organised a baby shower at my place for one of our dear friends and boy, did we have a ball!
Our friend, Miss D flew in that morning from Manchester and as soon as she arrived, she went straight to work putting up decorations and getting the place ready while I worked my magic in the kitchen. She did such a great job that I had to take a picture. Thank you, Miss D!
Most of the gang arrived early (Thank Jesus) and after the mum-to-be arrived, the fun kicked off in full gear. There was plenty of food and drinks, amazing games, fun chats and then there was Toke Makinwa!
I cannot specifically remember how the conversation started (I don’t think I was in the room then) but I quickly realised there was one name going around like a game of ping pong. I have heard the name before but never bothered to place a face to it (I never saw the need to).
However, that soon changed after I asked the question “who is Toke Makinwa?” and I got a response every blogger dreams about.
“Why? you should know who she is” one person commented (Sure! I also have lunch with Obama every Tuesday). “She has a YouTube channel” another chipped in (Uhuh! And I’m a major shareholder of Facebook), “She is a radio presenter. Oh! You should write a blog about her, I will read it!” (finally, someone’s speaking my language). “Me too! I will read it if you wrote about her”. Soon enough, everyone in the room urged me to write about Toke Makinwa along with the promise to read the post.
Now, I must say that as a blogger, I am always excited whenever someone comments they have read my blog or informs me of their plan to read it. i.e. the hope of a potential regular reader (a politician campaigning for votes can relate to this – “Fellow citizens, if you read my blog, I will spend my valuable time researching people I would otherwise not have cared about, I will write my heart out and I will build new schools. I would also wish for an oil well to be discovered in my backyard while I’m at it, so help me God!).
I quickly did the maths for dissemination (and SHARING) of this particular post based on a room full of women,
1 woman = 10 people
2 women = 30 people
It was settled, Toke Makinwa it is! I quickly got my imaginary writing pad and pen out and started taking notes.
So, Toke Makinwa is a Nigerian on-air personality and a YouTube vlogger but none of these got the ladies heated up.
It was her new book ‘On Becoming’ where she talked about her husband’s infidelity that was the topic of a heated discussion. Some of the girls at some point during the discussion recommended I read the book, to which I responded that I would not do so for 2 reasons:
- I don’t see the usefulness of reading the book (sorry Toke)
- A wise person once said, “if you go looking for dirt, you will find it”.
Do not get me wrong. Marital infidelity hurts, I have seen up close the devastation it can cause and as a Nigerian woman, I know it takes considerable, no, overwhelming guts to even talk about it in Nigeria let alone publish a book about it because our society teaches women to accept their lot in life and keep quiet about it.
Clearly, Toke Makinwa has broken free of that mould and I hear the feedback from the women folk has been immense. One of my friends commented that she felt she had a voice after reading the book. So, kudos to Toke for being an inspiration to women.
My reservations, however, for not wanting to read the book was amplified while listening to the conversation in the room. At this point, there were a lot of sad stories in the air about bad marriages, bad men and the evil women have to endure, that I felt my living room was prepped enough for a scene in a horror movie. At that point, I suddenly remembered this line;
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” – Edmund Burke
So, I spoke. I spoke about beautiful marriages and good men and my good man and I acknowledged that while there were lots of stories like Toke’s, there were also lots of good stories (I also understood how Dr Phil must feel).
I wondered, why are we quick to share sad or depressing news but we put the lid on the good and uplifting news and then pride ourselves (more like deceive ourselves) that we are being modest and considerate or tell ourselves we do not want to jinx it.
I have learnt that hope is INSPIRED and this is achieved by SHARING what you’ve got with others, be it tangible or intangible.
So, after listening to the girls talk about Toke Makinwa for over an hour (more like forever if I were honest) what have I deduced?
Toke Makinwa is a Nigerian media personality who wrote a book about her cheating husband.
Let’s move on!